815

You know you done fucked up, don't you?

I originally posted up about the M-Rod/Cynthia Watros (C-Wat?) DWI thing not because I thought it was a big deal, but because I'm secretly fascinated by the whole party-hardy, Hawaiian-island, hotshit-celebrity lifestyle, and because, frankly, those mugshots are mesmerizing.

Turns out, though, this story might have legs. First came word that Michelle, nobody's belle, threw a little tantrum upon her arrest.

"Why don't you just put a gun to my head and shoot me! You've already taken my freedom! You might as well take my life too!" she is purported to have told her arresting officers, and one can only dream that she delivered this fiery melodramatic spiel with the same dull, wooden demeanor she uses on-screen when she's "acting" similar "emotions."

Now comes word that this is Rodriguez' second DUI, and if convicted she could face actual jail-time. Some crappy magazine I've never read speculates that this could mean some serious re-writes of upcoming Lost episodes, which seems unlikely, seeing as how she's a wealthy Hollywood celebrity and ought to be able to afford the slimiestfinest in legal counsel and avoid the long arm of the law, but you never know.

You never know...

I'm not even sure where this picture comes from, let alone whether or not it's legitimate, but shit, you got anything else Lost-related going on right now?

Me neither.

Neither do I know what the hell any of it is supposed to mean.

Playing cards corresponding to the numbers. A Dharma logo with the intials of our principal characters strategically scrawled on. A toy soldier. A bullet. $8.25. What's left of one of those Apple IIs from the hatch. A baby photo. Some dude's photo (Hanso?). Letters I'm too lazy to read. A compass. A microchip. Dogtags. Those damn books. Is that Desmond's bag? Is this all his crap? Shouldn't you be working?

When is the next episode already?

• Drop in on the (newly expanded) cast of geniuses over at Skitatime Freedarko.com for the kind of NBA hoops discussion you might hear while sitting courtside at a Knicks game and eaves-dropping on a drunken debate between Spike Lee, Hov, and... oh, I dunno... Jacques Derrida?
• Bug Chris for Download that December Catchdubs mix.
• Watch Vince Young and the Texas Longhorns get crunk on Reggie Bush and the USC Jimmy Hats Trojans for the MNC of college football in the Rose Bowl on January 4th.
• Get warmed up for that by watching this VY 2005 highlight video (towards the bottom of the page). Enough clips to last through "Hell's Bells" plus two Andrew WK songs? That's a whole lot of awesome.
• Reggie's got highlights too. Jesus fucking Chirst. Don't forget to check out Leinart's block at the 20 sec mark.
• Haven't gotten enough football yet? Read this NYTimes magazine profile of eccentric genius Texas Tech coach Mike Leach. My nominee for sports journalism piece of the year.
  
• Watch Steve Nash be way more coordinated than you.
  
• Watch Shawn Kemp be the second greatest dunker of all-time.
  
• Speaking of basketball, this guy is unstoppable!
  
• Go read a book you illiterate son of a bitch and step up your vocab.
• Still here? Watch the most absurd "rap" video of all time.
• Read (or, better yet, hit me up with an mp3 of) the greatest baseball play-call of all time. Poetry.
• Check out these graffiti artists taking over a crowded train right on the subway platform.
• Like your graffiti art a little more on the conceptual side?
  
• Nerd out in the dark, disturbing world of Lost internet messageboards and peruse this "ultimate Lost theory."
• Like theories? You LOST fanatics are gonna love this; we did not land on the moon!
• Speaking of moon loonies, watch badass Buzz Aldrin clock one of these fools. Quoth Buzz, "Get my name out your mouth, bitch!"
  
• Get Crunk one more time.

New clues on the Hanso Foundation website. Click on Alvar's picture.

...too little tonic. (mugshots jacked from The Smoking Gun)

Ok, guys, seriously, next time there's a LOST Christmas party, the 815 staff would appreciate an invite. I'll even go ahead and volunteer Chris to be the designated driver, 'cause that's just the kind of dude I am.

Much like Hurley's rotund ass made it onto Korean television during Jin's Season 1 flashback, Sayid was on TV in the US Army recruiting office Kate dipped into to see her "dad."

Cool, I guess. The swarthy and hirsute (yet sexy!) are criminally underrepresented in the media, so any facetime is a good look. Narratively, though, it doesn't make a lot of sense. What channel are they watching, some sort of closed-circuit Pentagon torture feed?

Is that how LOST thinks they get our best and brightest to sign their lives away on that dotted line? Shouldn't they be watching dudes rock-climbing, jumping out of airplanes, and returning home to sneer condescendingly at their wimpy, loser, friends?

January 11th, 2006. Six weeks. 40 days. Here's another country classic to help you through the dark, frigid, LOST-less days. Stay strong.